Friday, December 29, 2006

Argh

I feel totally bloody fucked up! Never had my mind messed up so much! I know I will get through this and more.. still you cant escape the feeling of ...... argh.. Bullshit. I never usually went up to any body for any emotional solace, neither my dad or mom.. It wasnt because of any lack of it.. It was just because I am capable of all that. But suddenly and sorely I kinda ah feel dependant .

Boy did I try, but cant get it outta my system.. Harder I am trying shorter I am of breath. Bloody fucking mind of mine. My arrogance wont let me be! The result of this all doesnt exactly bother me but still for some fucking bloody reason I cant be my normal relaxed self. I am fidgety wtf! Boy only way I am fighting it is by walking.... walking... for so long hmm...

Bloody bloggin does give me some sorta relief, but all this are momentary! usually I know what to do! Er rather its unusual for me not to know what to do whatever be the situation, Would I do what is required or not is my call ofcourse but still! bloody fucking..... indecisiveness of mine!

Man cant I get over it! ah... hmm.................

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